I just want this brownie.
I look at it, the way it sits smothered in caramel, bowing beneath the weight of its sugary load, and I heave a sigh. It isn’t going to make me feel better, but dang, it sure looks like it would.
One of the frustrating thing about Lyme is that it often feels as if there is no leeway. Other people can afford a little irresponsibility, maybe have a brownie or some ice cream. Maybe they decide to stay up late two nights in a row, and they feel a “little out of it” over the next few days. (I have to try not to laugh when these people bemoan their current state. They think they’re tired)
But if you have Lyme, or any kind of chronic illness, you can’t just watch movies into the wee hours, or eat what you want one day. (Cheat days are a bad idea for us, am I right?) All of those things come with a price. Stayed up late? I will feel very sick for the next couple of days. Ate a brownie? I may find my anxiety getting worse, my lethargy increasing, and my brain fog becoming even more severe. Stayed up late AND ate sugar? “Oh, sweet thang”, my body whispers before screaming, “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME???”
All of these restrictions have forced me to look at what I am putting in my body….most of the time. It’s as if I constantly forget and have to be reminded that my body is still NOT OKAY. (And yes, my body generally speaks in all caps while forcing me back to bed, or into the fetal position on the couch)
Girl, I know you want that brownie, that piece of cake, that bowl of ice cream smothered in chocolate sauce. I know sometimes all of those little spirochetes are dancing around in your blood stream singing, “Just give me some sugar/ Just a little bits enough…” But listen to me, you can be strong, you can say no, and you can resist all those people who don’t understand our battle with sugar and exhaustion.
One thing that has helped me (this may sound weird) is to roast a bunch of veggies. Throw them in the oven on a high heat, maybe 425 or 450, and then devour them instead of the brownies. I use broccoli, sweet potatoes, brussel sprouts, or beets. I found out while reading Woman Code (an excellent book, review coming soon) that when you roast veggies, they taste sweeter, and this really helps curb all of those cravings. This is especially helpful for me because, try as I might, I don’t always feel like stuffing my face with salad. I much prefer pulling a bunch of roasted sweet potatoes and beets out of the oven, inhaling their warm sweetness like a drug. It’s not brownies, BUT it does make me feel better.
Here’s to roasting veggies!
All my love,