In the past few days, I have been clearing out old photos and videos. I find myself a bit embarrassed sometimes when I do this. I found mementos of an old relationship, videos of me being very silly even though I thought I was being serious, and, of course, little things I saved that I can’t remember the reason for anymore.

It’s hard to let go and it’s also hard not to feel incredibly stupid for some of the things I’ve done in the past few years. It can feel like a heavy coat of distraction. The weight is claustrophobic.

As I have been contemplating Christ this week, I have been reminded that He is the good shepherd. He comes to lead and save and heal. It is easy to picture that passage in John 10, “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for his sheep.” I have always pictured this as Christ sacrificing Himself on the cross. Today, though, I have been pondering what it means to lay down a life every day. To be a good shepherd, you would have to deal with countless distractions, minute and massive, every single day. There’s the weather, finding food, doing battle with predators, and making sure you have shelter each evening. You would have to do it with incredible focus, and the sheep would not be very helpful.

You would also have to deal with shearing.

My brother in law is a sheep and alpaca shearer. He frequently shares footage of sheep weighed down by their heavy, heavy coats of wool before he shears them. Some of them submit to his shearing and hardly move. Others, however, thrash, and he has to pin them in different positions to get all of the wool off. They look like different animals once he is done with them. The wool goes on to be used for all kinds of things like yarn and cloth and blankets.

Maybe this is what celebration can look like: the recognition that what has come before was good and necessary. We can print out those photos and laugh at those old videos and journal entries. It is also good and necessary to commemorate those things, shed them, and make them into art and gifts for others. It takes time to shear off the weight of an old year, though. I think that’s why we need more than just Christmas Day to celebrate and commemorate.

When I look back on those photos and those videos, I see someone who was trying very hard to understand her life. Where before I found a lot of embarrassment, I now find clarity. And I find that I can shed a lot of that old weight now, helped by experience and my very good shepherd. There is growth to celebrate and commemorate.

Psalm 72:12-14

For he delivers the needy when he calls, the poor and him who has no helper. He has pity on the weak and the needy, and saves the lives of the needy. From oppression and violence he redeems their life, and precious is their blood in his sight.

Found this song today and loved it. Merry Christmas!