Stuck.
The word comes to her as she drifts awake. She has slammed her alarm three times already. It is the fourth time this week that she has awoken with no desire for anything. Does she remember what desire feels like? She’s not sure.
Stuck.
Her car broke down and she had to ask friends to help with the repair. She has had to do this for the last few years because her job doesn’t pay well and although she is trying to find another position, money remains an elusive thing.
Stuck.
The gross pond outside her apartment reflects a dingy world, full of frustrated people and hissing geese. There are feral cats, too, with sad, sad eyes and ribs poking through their fur.
Stuck.
Work and time flow her fingers like sand, and the only thing she clings onto is that tomorrow she might have some energy. Might. Maybe. But will she?
Stuck.
On the move.
It slips into her one Sunday as she kneels after communion. All these people passing her helped her when she had no way of paying off her car bill. When she doesn’t have the desire to say the creeds, she rests in the voices around her and begins to mumble the words anyway.
On the move.
When she wakes up alone, she remembers the cats outside. Not so alone. They come to her door with wide green eyes, close enough that she can feel their wildness and fear.
“All is well,” she reassures as she feeds them. “All is well.”
On the move.
She has plans for a tiny floating garden of marsh islands at the end of the pond where the rain drain empties. Here she will grow local plants, and the scum on top of the pond will clear as the islands’ roots grab at loose soil.
On the move.
She knows she will not always be in this position. She is finding delight in her days, and keeps looking for new opportunities. There is an openness to her gaze and her stance that was not there two years ago. She looks up more than down.
On the move.
There was a lion she loved as a child. She loves him still. He was on the move, as well, breaking through a frozen landscape to bring about joy and healing.
And she thinks she can do that, too.
All Things: 